Wednesday, 13 April 2011
Sometimes People Think You're Stupid
But not everyone is convinced by that. Maybe it was because you said pluvial meant 'sort of balanced looking, I think, but in a negative sense.' Don't fret: simply spend an evening picking out the Trivial Pursuit question card with the hardest set of questions, and memorise the answers.
Then, while having a drink with your friend, let him find the card under his beermat, and wow him with your knowledge: Eric Clapton, Quasi-Autonomous Non-Governmental Organisation, The Big Lebowski, The Parva Naturalia, 4th May 1964, and Buttons. Be sure to wait for him to ask the questions before you provide the answers.
If he recognises the Monopoly card, don't fret yourself. It's not the end of the world:
Simply buy two-dozen chess sets, until you find one where the king piece looks most like you. Show your friend, and inform him that there is an entire tribe of miniature people living in your wall cavity, who worship you as their benign and hygienic God. Eighty-thousand of the famous Hoolahan Mice-Hunters can't be wrong, so he should treat you with more respect.