Photo Month 22-31

Ah, the last stretch. And do you know what? I've been pretty lax. And by pretty lax, I of course mean something else entirely. I mean very lax. Some of the following photos miss out on the basic concept of photo-a-day-ness. They were not, in fact, taken on days.

Okay, yes, they were taken on days. But not necessarily the right ones, and not one-per. Happily, I forgot to call this mini-challege Do One Photo Each Day For A Month Or DIE, even though that more accurately represents my sentiments when I started it. In fact, out of laziness, I called it Photo Month. These photos might not have been taken on days, but they were taken on a month.

Photo #22:
If you can't share a book, you can't share food. I cannot share books. Feel free to do the math(ematics).

Photo #23:
I am related to all three of these people. The strange thing is, there was no television in that room. Just a TRANS-DIMENSIONAL DOOM VORTEX. Which my mum seems to find funny.

Photo #24:


I am also related to these people. Except the tiny ones in the distance (who were pretty small in real life, too. Father Ted would have had trouble explaining that.)

Photo #25:
If you stare at this photo for long enough, you will see the image of nutjob footballer Zinedine Zidane in a flatcap. Try it. Just stare, hour after hour. It's worth the wait when you see it.

Photo #26:


These guys just set up in the middle of a field to rock out, six years ago. They've been rocking out ever since, and some entrepeneurial soul built a pub around them. Then they built a city around that pub. Then they altered everyone's memories so that they all think it happened in reverse.

Photo #27:


This is a picture of my life. If you look very closely, there is a clue about which book I will next be reviewing. (For those of you having trouble spotting it, here's another clue: 'davidlodgedeafsentence' is an anagram that might just help you out.)
If you look really closely, you could steal all my ideas. Honestly, you're welcome to them.

Photo #28:


Eleven seconds after this photo was taken, a huge fight broke out amongst these people. Apparently, one of them thought David Foster Wallace should be shelved under 'F', not 'W'. And then someone else suggested he should be shelved under Modern Classics, and all hell broke out. I've not seen any of them since, except on the news.

Photo #29:

Sometimes, you really need a drink and a snack in the cinema. You need it so much that you sell your house to buy it, but then you realise you still don't have enough money, so you offer the guy behind the counter his choice of your kidneys. And because he's a nice guy, he lets you off the rest, once he's had your watch and camera and future intellectual rights. (What I'm trying to say is, all this was more expensive than I expected.)

Photo #30:

It's actually an optical illusion. That cue is the same length as his forearm. That's perspective for you. Funny business, perspective.

Photo #31:


I know what you're thinking: some more classic perspective work from Ben.

You're wrong. This photo contains absolutely no perspective whatsoever. The black ball is twice the size of his head. It's only television that makes it look small. Odd how it works like that.

SO that was Photo Month. What have I learnt?

1. My camera has an awesome macro setting.
2. Taking my camera everywhere is a really good idea. You only have to take one or two photos -- 30 seconds, max -- and you forget things a lot less.
3. I possibly need to get out more.

Photo Month 13-21

There are two options. Either, I forgot to post my daily photos on TWO separate occasions, or I thought it would be sensible to stop clogging up my blog with photo posts every three days.
One of these options would be the result of being sensible, the other of being daft. So it should be obvious which one is true.

Seatbelts on, hold on tight, and please try not to vomit. Here we go:

Photo #13:
This blurry little chap turned up on my ceiling, a few feet away from my head, and stayed for a solid three or four days. He moved about two inches every night, then suddenly disappeared. I like to think that, in that short time, we formed a special bond of companionship. Michael dubbed him 'Sir Loughborough'.

Photo #14:

"Another photo of a mug? You must be mad!"

Why? It's only the second photo of a mug, and they're both good mugs. What a ridiculous statement, to claim that having two nice mugs makes me clinically insane. You should watch what you say, in future. Fascist.

Photo #15:

I'm spending time in the in-betweens of writing at the moment. Rather than wait around like a dullard (yes, I said it, dullard!) I decided to record some old songs. It's a leisure activity. This is the rough list I made for the album, provisionally entitled Old Songs.

Photo #16:

I made this, and then I ate it. Over the course of three meals. If I had the choice between not eating some Mexican food and eating some Mexican food, I would choose to eat some Mexican food. That's how much I love it.

Photo #17:

This is the park I go for walks around. I love the sky, and you get so much more of it in Norfolk. (Note: not all the sky is pictured here.)

Photo #18:
This was an open mic night at the Birdcage that we stumbled across by accident. This guy was reciting an essay on the Ontology of Sheets, which was pretty damn hilarious. Sadly, nobody else I was with was that bothered, so we left early. But I'm gonna go back there next time. I might even do something for it, at some point.

Photo 19:

The question is, quite simply, why not? Michael had a flick through the dictionary for me, and he is pretty sure that 'all comers' includes me. Even if it it is a weird phrase, now I come to think about it.

Photo #20:


Pool in the dungeons of The Mischief can only mean one thing: boy's night out. I didn't actually win all my games, which is probably why I was hiding. I don't like not winning all my games.

Photo #21:

Our chimneys are so wonky, and our roof is so flat.

Photo Month 10-12

What's this? Two posts in a day?? I can hardly believe it myself. But the photos are pretty unexciting this time round. I blame it on having a job rather than a life (I kid, I kid. You can't really call it a job.)


Photo #10:

The short story writing competition I'm planning to enter. If it doesn't go well, I will probably post the story here. So then, when you hear me talking about writing, you know what I'm really doing instead.

Photo #11:

And this is where the magic happens. That's actually pretty tidy, so I must have been procrastinating. I was planning on posting the same photo twice, and asking you to spot the difference, but then I thought: no.

Photo #12:


Okay, here's the truth behind the two posts in a day. It was only when the Fulham/Athletico game on the telly ended (badly) that I sort of remembered I had to post my photos from the last three days of Photo Month. And I hadn't yet taken one for today... so I sort of looked up from my desk, a little bit, and took a picture of that. Lazy. Shoddy. Lack of professionalism. I apologise.
But hey... what a cool photo! That whole bright colour/faraway fade mix. Love it. A complete accident.

Photo Month 7-9

Photo #7:"SHOES ARE FOR CONFORMISTS: I MAY BE COLD BUT I'M FREE"

My sister made me this mug for my Christmas present. As you may have guessed from its subtle propaganda, I am not the number one fan of shoes (although Michael Owen is No. 16 Fan Of Shoes, internationally. We often bicker about it.)

Photo #8:

We had Maltesers and penny sweets for pudding, but I didn't get a photo of that. If they still did awards for Most Creative Midnight Feast (they definitely did when I was younger) this would win. FRAZZLES.

Photo #9:


It's my typewriter. Therefore creative. ALSO, it makes up for the slightly uncreative Saturday photo, because I actually spent a few minutes on Saturday writing a little song about this ancient machine. Double whammy, triple points, winning streat, Ben wins.

Photo Month 4-6

And so it continues....

Photo #4

What has this got to do with creativity, I hear you ask? This is what I look like (ie. tired) after a five-day writing stint. As I have said over and over to anybody who will listen, I wish my whole life was like that five-day writing stint.
Nobody has yet, on hearing me say that, offered to give me a living wage in return for bad (but interestingly bad) novels. The bastards.

Photo #5
Photo #5 = 5th of May = my birthday. And I went to my friend Clare's house, where a bunch of us go every Wednesday, expecting nothing unusual... and they'd only ruddy built a bookshop in my honour! (My name there is Bookshop.)
Everyone had brought along a few favourite books, and we auctioned them off to each other (for a 2-month loan spell) using the universal currency of sweets. It was pretty much the best thing ever. I now have three unexpected books lined up for reviews, over the next 2 months. And lots of sweets.

Photo #6

Creative, you know? Singing? Making the ol' music?

But more to the point, how good is that Macro setting? Remember, I am a useless camera-person. I did none of the work here, it was all the camera.

Until next time, folks. Photos 7-9 should arrive on Sunday.

Photo Month 1-3

So here it is, May 2010,my very first Photo Month! It's happening because I've bought myself a digital camera. I have no previous record as a photographer, and the camera is a very cheap point-and-click machine. Having said that, I think it's pretty good at what it does.
What I'm trying to say is (and this should be my catchphrase or something): don't expect anything good.

I will probably post every three days, because three photographs per post seems about right. I've settled on a vague theme, which the Laerning to Read focus group has entitled 'creativity'. So if I get stuck, I can just take a photo of Something That Has Been Made. Easy. Here goes:

Photo #1
Maybe it's because I'm sitting at my desk writing all day, but the first few seem to be grouped around the idea of notes. This one documents my early obssession with one of the programmed settings. It's the Macro, which (even if it doesn't show here) is something special.

Photo #2
I wanted to convey the sheer quantity of pointless notes that litter my desk, but I don't think it comes across. At the bottom of this pile are three 120+ page A4 notebooks, completely full with words and the like. Lost somewhere in the middle are the dozens of pieces of paper with a certain shop's website address on, that I use to note down ideas when I'm at work.

Photo #3
Not sure what this one is about, except another go with the Macro setting. It's addictive. My last notebook had yellow pages, and I loved it. My new one has red covers,but only white pages. FEEL SORRY FOR ME.

Photo Month 4-6 should hopefully appear on Thursday. Wednesday is my birthday, and I'm going to a friend's house to paint and things, so that could fit into my theme pretty easily. Thursday I vote.